After A Goodbye

“Yes! Goodbyes are tough, really tough.”

Not the ones which are formal, prescribed, ceremonial, punctilious and the playfully experimented. Some of them are forced, that show you how easily they can let you march out from their lives after pursuing what you felt as lifetime soul connectivity, but they are the truths and they actually make you believe them. But still they don’t meet the toughness and grief up to the real despairing values, if they are not the ones where you feel you really didn’t want to but had to.

Those are the goodbyes that kill you alive every second for the immorality you were forced to carry out lured by the mind, even after knowing the expected turn up in the end. They are the ones that you faced with a fake smile, hiding the bitterness flowing through each and every part of your inside. Yes! You did think differently, in fact more seriously, more deeply despite knowing the unquestionable probability of a damaged you, ruined you in the ultimate finish. Even then, you were never reluctant. Not because you had gone too far dreaming, not because you had broken the line of your formal privacy, not because you had started to enjoy and appreciate every single moment of it. It’s because you simply or seriously can’t do thinking, “How can I suddenly leave?”

It’s not about love, not about friendship, not about anything you adored to the utmost level of perfection. It’s simply about the habit you did get used to after it did arrive to you when you needed the most. It’s about the exchange of care and understanding. And most importantly, it’s about the togetherness.

But after all you should have to realize that you have to let it go. You will surely need pretexts for that and I guarantee, you will need it if you really feel you have wanted it all your life. That pretext, which will pick few of the stones of agony of a separated life, and reduce the pain by a little extent in order to just make you believe that you said goodbye for a reason. And that will make you live, not convincingly, but you will really live.